Self-care has been a buzzword for a while now— so much so that NPR says Millennials are obsessed with self-care. Mostly, this is wonderful. We are taking strides towards becoming a more emotionally intelligent society that sees the inextricable link between mental health and physical health.

But when it comes to self-care, too much of a “good” thing can actually be stressful.

Once upon a time, I lived according to a self-care checklist. I had to take my morning walk and fill a whole page in my gratitude journal before bed. I scheduled bath times and tea times and I felt guilty about every minute I wasted watching funny videos on the internet because I thought I should be doing something good for the soul.

But who approves what makes it onto the good-for-the-soul list anyway?

Turns out, I do.

I didn’t realize that I’m the one who gets to decide until I heard Brene Brown talking about how she likes to watch movie trailers as part of her play time.

That’s all it took to make it click. The purpose of self-care is to get mind, body, and spirit into a relaxed state. If my self-care routine isn’t doing that, it’s not a self-care routine at all.

You know what gets me into a relaxed state? Buzzfeed videos.

You know what stresses me out? A laundry list of super spiritual, super disciplined activities that I am required to do.

Your self-care activity doesn't have to be published on some Huffington Post list. Self-care can show up as play. It can show up as rest. For some of us, it can show up as work that we really love—like volunteering or mopping floors.

The moral of this story is that your self-care should all exist to put you in a more relaxed state, if it doesn’t, change it.

We talk about self-care in my upcoming program Wake Up, Buttercup. Click here to join the waitlist. 

When you join the waitlist, you’ll receive a complimentary Nutritional Therapy Session—worth $197—and early access (with sweet discounts and bonuses) to the Wake Up, Buttercup course.