On Saturday, a friend of mine shared with me that she had gone bathing suit shopping for an upcoming pool party we were going to.

She is gorgeous and so fit, so it was shocking for me to hear her say that bathing suit shopping isn’t fun for her anymore, since she gained weight.

She confessed to me that while she was bashing her bikini body on the inside, she was all sunshine and body positivity on the outside because her daughter was in the next fitting room.

Her awareness of her own negative self-talk and her inability to stop it was baffling.

When Sunday came around, she was mysteriously missing from the pool party. She had a million reasons why, but the real reason was that she didn’t want to be seen in a suit.

I don’t have a moral to this post.

I’m just sad.

I’m sad because I know this is the case for most women. I’m sad because there are women missing out on life, while men rock dad bods like a badge of honor. I’m sad because it just doesn’t have to be.

And at the same time, it gives me so much purpose.

I know this can change and I know I’m a part of the change. It’s why I do what I do. It’s why I’m studied what I’ve studied and why I work with who I work with.

If you’ve skipped out on a single party — dinner or drinks or dipping yourself in the pool— because you don’t love your body, we seriously need to talk.

Click here to chat with me